I know it’s been forever since I’ve been on. I apologize, I just haven’t been in the greatest of moods to be writing. Which is awkward, because normally when I’m in a bad mood, writing is the only thing I can turn to. Anyway, I thought I’d get on and update so, here goes….
My life really hasn’t changed besides the fact that I recently got a dog. Her name is Dobby and she’s a chihuahua/schnauzer mix. Here’s a picture:
Well, tonight is one of those nights that I just hate. Nights where I can’t possibly fall asleep for any reason, no matter how exhausted I am. I’m forced to stay up and just think about how horrible my life is. I’m tired of going to bed every night hoping I never wake up, or at least slip into a coma for a few weeks. I’m tired of every conversation I have with anyone having only to do with a job or school. I’m tired of not meeting anybody worth talking to for longer than a few weeks.
I’ve lost every friend I had left, and none of them will even tell me why. I live for TV because I have no life or drama of my own, so why not live through actors and stupid, immature reality TV stars? I don’t even know why I bother trying to be a good person anymore, because it obviously hasn’t done me any good.
I spend half of my life wanting to be fucked up, with nothing to smoke, snort or drink. I don’t even like drugs, but I just feel like it would take my thoughts to a different place. I would at least like to feel fake, drug-induced happiness instead of being depressed and pissed off at the world constantly.
It kills me that I used to be the most determined, motivated person in the world, and I’ve become someone who doesn’t have enough inspiration to even take a shower. I have honestly run out of ideas. I’m lost as to what to do with my life. Nothing, nobody is on my side right now. I see everyone in my life moving on and finding great things in their lives that make them ecstatic. I’m just sitting here, waiting for the world to come to an end.
Oh, how I wish for Global Warming.
— Sarah Tyler Deen
P.S. I don’t care if you think I’m a whiny brat who doesn’t appreciate anything. These are my feelings and I will express them in the way I feel fit. You can’t tell me how to feel.
Filed under: Frustrations | 4 Comments
Tags: Depression, Global Warming